Worm Crisis: The Solution is to Make Them Appitizers

I was directed to a rather odd article in the New York Times about the fact that worms will be the end of the forest as we know it, or some other some similar media derived disaster.

But I know a very simple solution to this problem. It is one that has worked for centuries. We should simply create a demand of earthworms as a delicacy. The problem outlined in the article would be resolved in just a few decades.

I know what you are thinking. “Earthworms! Eat earthworms! Only if you do it first.”

This, I do not have a problem with. I have not only eaten earthworms, I know how to prepare and serve them. When I was in college, I was forced to take a speech class with a professor who was apparently fed up with teaching and sought only to to make everyone as miserable as she was. One of our assignments was to give an informational speech on any subject we wanted provided we could find 3 sources to support it. Boy, I was never happier to be able to participate in the fledgling beginning of the internet because I found 3 sources online on how to prepare and serve fried earthworms.

I went down to my local bait shop and bought a container of worms. I soaked them in milk. I squeaked out the gut contents. And then in front of the class, I prepared, served and ate fried worms.

Oddly enough, I got a D on the speech. It was a flawless presentation but apparently the professor felt that the material was inappropriate. Can’t for the life of me see why.

Gee, we eat shrimp and lobster and they are really no more than seafaring bugs. Heck, we even consider them to be delicacies. What’s the difference between on invertebrate and another. And for the record, earthworm tastes alot like calamari.

If we were to make a nation-wide effort to turn earthworms into a delicacy, we could turn the whole earthworm overpopulation issue around. Market it as a good side dish to have with beer and serve it alongside peanuts. We would need a good spin doctor on this, but I think we could make it work. It would not be the first species we ate into extinction.

In the mean time, I will just say… “Do your part and just start eating worms!”